Can you imagine being a New York Jets fan? Their favorite team hasn't won a game all season, they just lost on Sunday in the closing seconds because of a bad decision by their defensive coordinator (who they fired), and have dealt with countless injuries throughout the year.
Or think about the Lions, Eagles, and Falcons fans at the moment. They have got to be so frustrated, disappointed, and discouraged. It never seems to be the Lions’ year, the Eagles only have three wins and are making a change at quarterback, and the Falcons have lost their way ever since their crazy Super Bowl loss.
With any of these fan bases, it’s not surprising to hear comments like these:
“It’s so hard being a fan!”
“Why do I even watch?”
“This team tortures me every year.”
“No other team has injuries like we do.”
“We never find the right coach.”
“Why can’t we draft the right players?”
As fans, we’re all guilty of feeling sorry for ourselves when our favorite team lets us down. We can’t believe our team could do this to us, so we begin to whine, complain, and feel frustrated.
We become angry that our team can never win a championship or hire the right coach or consistently win or draft great players. The unfairness of it all causes us to think poor me, why should I have to go through this again?
Despite there being reasons for feeling this way, ultimately self-pity isn’t a great look or productive for anyone. It just leads to being trapped in a pit of misery.
The same is true in our own lives. We have all been through tough seasons in the past and have especially faced a challenging 2020.
Sometimes difficult seasons happen because of circumstances out of our control, or because of our own bad decisions, or because of someone else's poor choices that affect us.
We also might find ourselves in the middle of something that God is using to discipline us, change us, grow us, and strengthen our faith.
Viewing our trials through a positive lens is very difficult to do, so we resort to self-pity, which is defined as “excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one’s own troubles.”
Although we can’t believe we have to deal with certain issues and think people should feel sorry for us because of the spot we're in, as followers of Jesus, self-pity shouldn’t be our response if we truly recognize how much God loves us and cares for us.
When we choose to trust Him and keep our eyes fixed on Him, our self-pity turns to hope, joy, and thankfulness for what He’s doing in us and what He already did on the cross.
The passage from Hebrews 12:5-11 (in The Message translation) provides a great perspective on this:
“In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don’t feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as His children?
“My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child He loves that He disciplines; the child He embraces, He also corrects.
“God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves.
“Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them.
“But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.”
Many of us today probably feel discouraged, disappointed, and frustrated by what’s going on in our lives and the world around us. Instead of resorting to self-pity, let’s cling to our loving Father who isn’t letting us down but rather building us up to have mature faith in Him.
I’m Bryce Johnson and you can UNPACK that!
PRAYER: Heavenly Father, it’s so easy for me to wallow in my pain and discouragement. I pray that I’d keep my eyes fixed on You instead of my circumstances. I know you love me and are working within me. Please help me to remain hopeful and faith-filled as my joy is rooted in You. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.
Discussion Questions for PACKS:
In what ways do you feel sorry for yourself?
Why is self-pity our default feeling when going through something tough?
How did today’s verses change your perspective on self-pity and discipline?
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